My cat is obsessed with my hair product. She has never been a groomer, but I started using Reuzel’s Extreme Hold Matte Pomade, and now she licks my hair whenever she gets the opportunity. I’m not going to lie: it’s gross. I’ll say this, though. I love that hair product! It actually makes my hair do what I want it to do. My only complaint would be that it’s a bit sticky after it dries, and I would rather it had no stickiness at all (after drying).
We did move in, successfully. T has done most of the unpacking while I do homework. I feel a little bad about it, but I don’t have a lot of options. I love our house, though. It’s cute and cozy and ours. The commute is too bad, but I had no commute before, so I suppose it’s back to real life. I hate losing that hour and a half I used to have every day. But I’m listening to audio books in the car on the drive, so at least it doesn’t feel like a long drive.
Maybe someday I’ll be interesting again. Until then, if you’re reading, thanks.
I’m back! I wasn’t truly on sabbatical from my blog, but I recently realized it had been about six or seven months of radio silence. Since my absence, I got married (it was wonderful), started a certificate course at my local community college online (to get some actual accounting/bookkeeping credentials), and bought a house with my wife.
The house is what consumes us currently (well, that and I am taking three classes this quarter, so I’m busy with homework, as well). We closed a couple weeks ago, but thanks to flexibility with our current rental lease, we left ourselves a few weeks to get things done at the new place before we move in. We’ve been busy painting, insulating, and making minor repairs as we discover them. Really, my parents have been doing the bulk of the work, as T and I can only go up on weekends. (Thank god for retired, helpful parents!) My mom has been painting nearly every day, and my dad, with weekend help from my brother, insulated and sheetrocked the entire garage. The house is going to be great once we get there.
I’m excited to be a homeowner. I know it’s more work and more responsibility, but it means its ours. I really can’t wait to move in. Move date is set for April 13th. After that, things should calm down back to the new normal (for me) of still very busy instead of crazy-busy.
The wedding is coming up quickly — 9 days, if my math is correct. And with it, work has been extra busy/frustrating. I’m still dieting to try to lose just a few more pounds by the wedding to ensure my suit fits as well as it is able (a whole other story that I’m not going to delve in, but I have a draft post full of emotional vomit). I did payroll this week for the first time by myself. We’re under a couple injunctions from the state from an incident stemming from the nursing staff. Still no personal days, despite our numbers being strong (they took away our 5 personal days this year, leaving us with only 4 holidays).
We’re mostly ready for the wedding. We still need to sit down and figure out the music. But all the other big stuff is done. Our suits are done, we have our rings. We’ve hired bartenders and a photographer. A work associate is catering, gratis. We’ll pay for the actual food (at cost through my work). We’ve wrapped gifts for the bridal parties. We made the centerpieces. Things are coming together.
T asked if I was excited, but honestly, I’m not. Not yet. I rarely get excited before something actually occurs — I’m too busy with the to-do list that invariably precedes any such event that may provoke excitement. I told her I would get excited once we had checked off all the remaining items.
T and I signed up to take a fostering orientation in October, after the wedding. We’ve talked about having kids, but I’ve always wanted to foster or adopt, and anyway, with our ages and finances, having our own kid is not really an option. We’re both very aware that fostering is super hard shit, which is why I want us to get started on the learning aspects of it. After the orientation, there’s a 27 hour training, as well. Not that I think that’s quite enough, but, again, we’re just starting.
I’m not sure we’re ready for kids, but is anyone? My biggest concern about having kids around in general is that I want us to be more financially stable, which in about a year, we should be (we’re probably fine, but I like to have a lot of cushion). As for fostering, I just worry that we won’t be prepared. Those kids come with a lot of baggage, and none of it is going to go away quickly. I don’t want to be a disaster story. But I also want to be able to offer a home to kids who need one. And that is why I want us to get started on the process.
I’m hoping that we’ll be more sure of where we want to live at that point, as well. I certainly don’t want to be renting where we are for forever (although, buying a house may not be an option any time soon). But that’s yet another big decision.
I think we’re finally in the swing of things. It’s taken awhile, but I think we’re there? The boxes are gone, we’ve done a ton of yard work — the front yard was a dust bowl when we got here, now it has plants and greenery and it looks great. The back yard is our next battle — we’ve bushwacked back there quite a bit — nothing had been done for probably 15 years. Next, we’re hoping our landlords will pay for materials and we’ll fix it up. We did the front yard out of pocket, but the front is much smaller and we wanted to show we could do a good job.
Our wedding is in 3 months! We’ve gotten the suits ordered, we have an appointment to see rings (from a eco-friendly, queer-friendly, local jeweler), we are mailing invitations today. We’ve had the venue for awhile, we’ve met with our bartender and photographer. We’ve booked our flights and hotel for the honeymoon. Honestly, it feels like we’ve done a lot of the big ticket stuff that you have to do ahead. We still need to finalize what we want to make for food (because we’re doing it ourselves). Oh, and a dozen other little things, like music, decorations, cake, etc.
As for out little dog, he’s doing better, but my goodness it is a lot of work. He’s a chewer, and he’s trying to destroy our stuff. He recently started chewing on my couch (I love my couch), and I was nearly ready to get rid of him. But we’re going to make this work and train him up, and once he’s older he shouldn’t chew so much, anyway. At least, that’s what everyone keeps telling me. It had better be true. He still has a wonderful personality and is just so friendly. It’s hard to be mad at him for long, even when he is truly horrible.
It’s time to get ready for work for me, but I am going to try to start blogging again. Honest.
I feel as though I never blog anymore. I’ve blogged more or less consistently my entire adult life, and really, even in high school, so probably about 20 years worth. But these last couple of years… it’s like a drought.
We’ve moved. We’re semi-unpacked. We’ve begun working on the front yard in an attempt to make it look decent.
We, my fiance and I, decided to get a new dog. A month before we move in together. And he’s living with me and going to work with me. His name is Spike, and he seems to be a chihuahua terrier mix. He has a great personality. My cats aren’t exactly happy, but I’m making it work. [I did almost have a breakdown when I couldn’t get them to eat for nearly two days–I’d put their food on the table so the dog couldn’t get it, but they wouldn’t touch it. So I have it in the bedroom, which is blocked off from the dog, and they started eating again. I suspect they wanted their food on the floor, where it ‘belongs.’]
I’ll tell you this. I maybe need to pay a bit more attention to my anxiety levels when I’m making big decisions, such as to get a new pet that I have to train on my own for a month. Especially when it’s a month away from moving.
My packing for said move has more or less stalled, but I’m sure I’ll get back to it this week and weekend. I mean, I don’t have much choice if I’m moving in a little more than three weeks, right?
Wedding planning is mostly on hold until after the move. And I think we’ve finally decided to not worry about house hunting until at least after the wedding. It’s just too much otherwise.
It looks like things with the house are not going to go as hoped. Apparently, T’s ex’s lender somehow (despite T not being on the application) didn’t realize that T was not going to stay on the loan (wtf), so it has to go into underwriting again. This is after two months. It looks like they will simply sell instead.
Which is all fine and good, especially because it is almost for certain that T will get more money from selling. Except that the house won’t be listed until April at the earliest (if her ex doesn’t drag her feet). That means it likely won’t be sold/settled until end of May. That means we can’t get started on any house hunting until around May, which is when the housing market really starts getting competitive. We can’t afford to be competitive. We can’t offer more than asking. We can barely afford asking. Not just that, but we’d likely not be in a house until July or August at the earliest. That’s months from now to continue living so far apart.
So I told T that I think we should just try to rent. She doesn’t want to rent long term, but I’m trying to get her to understand that we’ll likely be priced out of the market by next year. We’re almost priced out as it is, and the market is only predicted to continue going up. Our salaries are not going to pick up comparably. She doesn’t like this, neither do I, but I can’t see anyway around it, other than intending to be long-term renters, or to move to a cheaper area.
This whole situation has already caused too many fights, and I can see why someone wouldn’t want to get involved with a person who still owned property with an ex. I’m not saying I’m not still glad I’m with T, but it’s so incredibly frustrating to have our future depend on her ex. I’m supposed to simply put my life on hold because of her stupid, fucking ex.
It seems that a lot has gone on in the past almost two months.
First off the bat, I got engaged! We’re getting married in October, and things are already lining up well, so that is a relief! We’re definitely planning a very low-key wedding, so that is helpful. But other than doing the planning we have to do right now, we’re putting it off, because…
We’re trying to buy a house. The one big hitch (other than having not enough/barely enough money for the up-front costs) is that T still owns her house with her ex. ugh. Her ex finally did agree to buy her out, at less than half the equity, after futzing around for two months, but now her ex is going to require her to be out by the end of March. We were hoping she could stay until at least April because we can’t get going on our house stuff until we have cash in hand from the house. Of course the market is so expensive that it will still be quite hard to afford anything. It’s incredibly frustrating.
The other option was to sell the house, but her ex refused to do that unless everyone was out of it, and since T actually lives there, plus has pets, that was unrealistic. Plus we knew she would drag it out as long as possible, and we want to start our life without her.
I’m going to tell you, it’s a lot of big stuff all at the same time. (T also started a new job this month.) We have talked about just renting for a year, but we have four pets between the two of us, and we’d end up paying just as much as, if not more than, a mortgage. We’re also worried we’ll get priced out of the market if we wait because we’re barely able to be in the market now, and prices will only continue to go up. Renting isn’t completely off the table, though. It’s just not our first hope.
I’m going to try to blog on a more regular basis. I’ll try to give you updates on the house and the wedding.