STIs and Love

I’ve been learning about HPV.  (Nice opener, right?)  T got a positive result for high risk HPV (but negative for 16 or 18, which are the most common to cause cervical cancer).  She told me and of course feels horrible about it.  But I told her that it’s just as likely that it was me who gave it to her.  Her ex tested negative, and I haven’t been tested in several years (although I’m going to), so…  it’s hard to say.  The other thing is that most cases clear up just fine on their own.  Apparently you only really worry if you get one that lasts more than 1 test, but cervical cancer develops slowly, over 10-20 years and is easy to treat when it’s caught early.  Here’s a great booklet to check out from American Cancer Society.

Perhaps you all know that already.   Regardless, here’s what annoys me.  When I go to the doctor to get check ups, they insist I don’t need hardly any STI tests, or paps or anything because I am considered “low risk” because I’m a lesbian.  It’s as thought doctors don’t believe lesbians can get STIs.  [Side note: I am also annoyed, and have been since it came out, that the HPV vaccine is only available to women up to age 26 because they assume that if a woman was going to get HPV, they would have by then. Some of us weren’t very or at all sexually active until later meaning our risks are just as great. And men don’t get tested and people sleep with folk of all ages, and and and.]

Now, off the STI talk. It’s not very interesting.

T and I are taking a weekend trip in a couple weeks.  Not to Chicago.  Just a long weekend together, without responsibilities, without schedules.  It will be delightful.

We haven’t said the “L” word yet.  I think she wants to but is afraid it will spook me.  I haven’t said it yet because I spend too much time thinking about what it means, what the significance might be, and practically speaking, how to just say something like that to someone in a non-casual, off-hand way.  I’m probably over thinking this.  I’m just hoping she gets brave eventually and says it herself so that I don’t have to.  HA!

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my girl

Things are still going well with T.  I don’t get to see her as much as I would like, but that is life, apparently.

I do have regular moments where it hits me, all of a sudden, that I have a girlfriend.  That I’m not technically single.  That I’m in a relationship with another person.  It’s weird.  Weird, but nice.

I also have the considerations that maybe I’d rather be single, that it’s so much easier to be alone.  These thoughts have absolutely nothing to do with T, they are just objective thoughts.  T is the reason I have not decided to follow through–so far, I prefer a relationship with her to not having one with her.

I’ve met some of her family.  That was pretty stressful, but I think it went well.  They seemed to like me.

And we may be going on a short vacation to Chicago next month–that’s where she grew up.  It’s also weird to think about going on vacation with someone.  I have a lot of anxiety about the idea, but I also think it will be a good thing, if it works out.  The anxiety is more related to the idea of taking a trip somewhere than the fact I’d be going with T.  I’m not used to taking trips.

Well, that’s about it for now.

Mmm, popcorn.

My girl sent me a box of fancy popcorn. 

 She knows how much I like popcorn, and she is clearly too nice to me. 

In other news, I’ve gained some weight over the last year or so. I’m trying to get serious about losing it, mostly because it’s harder to hide my female shape when I’ve gained weight. Plus my clothes are starting to get tight. 

But you know what is horrible? Not being able to eat any and all the food I want. Alas. 🙂