Okay, so I did not present my new boss with my idea. I did sketch it out and get a detailed plan as to how I might. But I did not. I realized it’s a bit premature of an idea to present to a man who wants to cut costs, not incur them.

Unfortunately, he also wants to somehow combine his team at the other facility with ours. And I’ve only heard they are hot messes. I am not going to farm out my beautifully clean work to people who do not know what they are doing. Oh, no. I can do more than I think. And that is my idea. To do more and to not worry about it. I have great capacity to get things done.

You may have heard of a little thing called COVID-19, aka the Coronavirus? We are at the epicenter of the outbreak in the US. I don’t normally say much about where I live or those details, but I’m in the Seattle metro area. And I work in nursing home (no COVID-19 cases yet). And my wife is on two immunosuppressant drugs. Life has gotten a bit weird here.

We are not stockpiling anything. But I do worry that when we run out of something, we don’t be able to buy it. Hopefully things get back in stock. Neither of us can work from home, so we’re both going in every day. And we’re just being cautious.

We’re supposed to go to Disneyland next month. We have been planning this trip for about 8 months. I have everything booked – even down to a reservation for dinner for Fantastmic so we can watch from a terrace while sitting. But Disneyland is closed through the end of this month. And it may close for longer. Plus, with our governor’s response to the panic, I am just daily waiting for him to close the borders to/from Washington. (Or for Trump to do the same.) We haven’t canceled yet – we are going to wait until the bitter end – but we expect that we will have to cancel. If so, we intend to reschedule for September. More waiting, but that’s the soonest we could feasibly go.

You guys, this thing is nuts.

brave ‘like a man’

Obviously, Thursday left me with a lot of feels. On Friday, however, I met with my CEO to discuss a “Take it Back Project” I have to do for a leadership program I’m in this year.

We discussed my idea for my project and the conversation naturally flowed to the changes at work and with management. In total, the conversation was around an hour and a half, so this was no quick chat. We have a lot of unknowns at the moment, so I decided to tell him my ‘ideal daydream’ for how I’d love my office to look.

I told him that I’d like to become the Office Manager (we do not presently have this role), and that our accounting assistant would then learn and take over several of my current duties. We’d have to hire a clerk part time to make this work. But then, I would have time for my new duties that I’m taking over, plus the projects that I really want to do (as that is what truly excites me – new challenges and projects). He actually really liked the idea and was in full support. He wants me to present the idea to our new CFO to see if the CFO would support it.

My CEO does believe that it will go over well. The CFO (who, if you recall, we are contracting with from another facility) is somewhat concerned, apparently, about having the time to support us like we need (we are such a skeleton crew). So my CEO believes this would alleviate the concern and prove we can be self-sufficient for the daily running of the business office. (We would then use the CFO when needed for consulting or for the things you need the ‘big dog’ to do – like lay the smack down.)

I talked to my coworker about this after my meeting. He was also in full support (although he did tease me later about my ‘power grab’). He’s been there about 23 years, so I figured he would know if it seemed like a good idea and if it would work. I haven’t talked with our accounting assistant yet, but I will do so if the CFO approves my idea.

I have never really approached someone before and said “I would like to do this thing.” This thing being create a position for myself that it is exactly what I would like to do instead of what I am currently doing. But I know it is also a thing many men would do without question. And why let my gender hold me back? This is a great opportunity, as we are in a state of flux, to make my move and get a better position. Plus, you lose every chance you do not take.

Now I have to figure out how to present this the best way and come up with a rough idea of what I will say. I do not know our CFO hardly at all, so it is not the same as approaching the CEO, who I have worked with for years.

I’ll let you know how it goes.


My boss retired yesterday. She hired me three and a half years ago and has mentored me and helped me with my career. She has taught me an incredible amount and built into me and believed in me. And now’s she retired. I am so happy for her, but I am definitely sad for me.

My work is in a bit of flux at the moment. My organization is making some decisions about how things will be in the future. My new boss is a CFO we are contracting with from a nearby facility. He is going to be very different from my old boss.

My boss was a ‘working’ CFO. She was an integral part of our office and participated in many of our duties and activities. For such a small office (not counting her position, there are three of us to do all the business functions of a nursing home and assisted living), it has been helpful and comforting to have her as a safety net. Our new CFO is not that type of CFO. He will be working on higher level functions only – such as contracts, budgets, financial reports. This means that my boss has been farming out her work to us. I have gotten the bulk of it, it seems. I have payroll, taxes, quarterly reports, annual reports, pension, supervising our accounting assistant, and god knows what else. All on top of my regular workload. We did all get pay raises this year to help, but do you know what we did not get? More time. I am still hourly and still constrained by the 40 hour week as overtime is a four letter word in my office.

Yesterday felt rushed and ineffectual. Our new boss was there and seemed too jovial for the occasion. My emotions went everywhere. But mostly I feel overwhelmed and angry and unsure. After I left work, I cried most of the way home, then got home, and when my wife started asking about how it went, cried again. This is the first time she’s seen me cry, so I think it was a bit surprising for her. Honestly, I don’t think I’ve cried the entire time we have been together. (I do not cry often; it is usually a culmination of a ton of things going on that would bring me to the brink.)

I am trying to be positive because these changes can bring good things. But they are still change, and we still do not know what it will truly look or feel like. We will find out soon, surely. In the meantime, in these last few days/weeks/months of uncertainty, I know I need to pull myself together, to be willing to be a team with new people, and to fake it until I make it.

But, god, change is hard.