Project Updates

Our application to become foster parents has been approved! To be honest, in the current state of things, it feels a little anti-climatic. We are supposed to start with respite care, then move to long term care, but with T’s medications and the current mandates, I don’t think we are able to do respite care. So… Not really sure what it will look like. We are supposed to find out more details this week from the Y for how on-boarding will look, etc.

This weekend, we also kicked ass on projects. If you recall, the back of our backyard used to be all blackberries. We cut those down last year, but the whole area was still full of sharp stems. So a couple weekends ago, we did a final raking. And then this weekend, we took T’s small rototiller and rototilled the whole area. Then, we finally pulled down the chicken wire fence we put up a year ago to protect Spike (our little dog) from getting hurt. We still need to get rid of some of the pile of sticks (our yard waste is full-full-full), and we need to go over it again with a bigger rototiller. My dad’s neighbor is going to let us borrow his at some point.

Plus, months ago, we had built a railing in the nook on the landing by the stairs to bring the house to code for fostering (and safety). This weekend, we finally stained it and finished it with polyurethane. Four coats of poly! But it looks amazing, and it is done.

When we moved in, we also removed the door from the doorway to the nook because we are not using that space as a bedroom, but living space. We wanted it to feel open. However, the cutouts in the frame for the hinges and latch were still there and ugly. I had the bright idea to fill them in with shims and paint stir sticks (cut to the correct length), which were the perfect thickness. So now they’re filled with wood, and the gaps are filled with latex putty. After we sand and paint, you will not be able to tell the frame was missing anything. You can barely tell now. (Although, that says more about the state of all our trim — another project for the future is to repaint all the trim.)

All that, plus our normal chores and cooking for the week. That’s the one thing COVID-19 is doing for us — giving us the time to finish up our projects.

Post move update

My cat is obsessed with my hair product. She has never been a groomer, but I started using Reuzel’s Extreme Hold Matte Pomade, and now she licks my hair whenever she gets the opportunity. I’m not going to lie: it’s gross. I’ll say this, though. I love that hair product! It actually makes my hair do what I want it to do. My only complaint would be that it’s a bit sticky after it dries, and I would rather it had no stickiness at all (after drying).

We did move in, successfully. T has done most of the unpacking while I do homework. I feel a little bad about it, but I don’t have a lot of options. I love our house, though. It’s cute and cozy and ours. The commute is too bad, but I had no commute before, so I suppose it’s back to real life. I hate losing that hour and a half I used to have every day. But I’m listening to audio books in the car on the drive, so at least it doesn’t feel like a long drive.

Maybe someday I’ll be interesting again. Until then, if you’re reading, thanks.

Sabbatical is over

I’m back! I wasn’t truly on sabbatical from my blog, but I recently realized it had been about six or seven months of radio silence. Since my absence, I got married (it was wonderful), started a certificate course at my local community college online (to get some actual accounting/bookkeeping credentials), and bought a house with my wife.

The house is what consumes us currently (well, that and I am taking three classes this quarter, so I’m busy with homework, as well). We closed a couple weeks ago, but thanks to flexibility with our current rental lease, we left ourselves a few weeks to get things done at the new place before we move in. We’ve been busy painting, insulating, and making minor repairs as we discover them. Really, my parents have been doing the bulk of the work, as T and I can only go up on weekends. (Thank god for retired, helpful parents!) My mom has been painting nearly every day, and my dad, with weekend help from my brother, insulated and sheetrocked the entire garage. The house is going to be great once we get there.

I’m excited to be a homeowner. I know it’s more work and more responsibility, but it means its ours. I really can’t wait to move in. Move date is set for April 13th. After that, things should calm down back to the new normal (for me) of still very busy instead of crazy-busy.

just wedding rambling

The wedding is coming up quickly — 9 days, if my math is correct.  And with it, work has been extra busy/frustrating.  I’m still dieting to try to lose just a few more pounds by the wedding to ensure my suit fits as well as it is able (a whole other story that I’m not going to delve in, but I have a draft post full of emotional vomit).  I did payroll this week for the first time by myself.  We’re under a couple injunctions from the state from an incident stemming from the nursing staff.  Still no personal days, despite our numbers being strong (they took away our 5 personal days this year, leaving us with only 4 holidays).

We’re mostly ready for the wedding.  We still need to sit down and figure out the music.  But all the other big stuff is done.  Our suits are done, we have our rings. We’ve hired bartenders and a photographer.  A work associate is catering, gratis.  We’ll pay for the actual food (at cost through my work).  We’ve wrapped gifts for the bridal parties.  We made the centerpieces.  Things are coming together.

T asked if I was excited, but honestly, I’m not. Not yet.  I rarely get excited before something actually occurs — I’m too busy with the to-do list that invariably precedes any such event that may provoke excitement.  I told her I would get excited once we had checked off all the remaining items.

Until then… I guess I have work to do.

Fostering

T and I signed up to take a fostering orientation in October, after the wedding.  We’ve talked about having kids, but I’ve always wanted to foster or adopt, and anyway, with our ages and finances, having our own kid is not really an option.  We’re both very aware that fostering is super hard shit, which is why I want us to get started on the learning aspects of it.  After the orientation, there’s a 27 hour training, as well.  Not that I think that’s quite enough, but, again, we’re just starting.

I’m not sure we’re ready for kids, but is anyone?  My biggest concern about having kids around in general is that I want us to be more financially stable, which in about a year, we should be (we’re probably fine, but I like to have a lot of cushion).  As for fostering, I just worry that we won’t be prepared.  Those kids come with a lot of baggage, and none of it is going to go away quickly.  I don’t want to be a disaster story.  But I also want to be able to offer a home to kids who need one.  And that is why I want us to get started on the process.

I’m hoping that we’ll be more sure of where we want to live at that point, as well.  I certainly don’t want to be renting where we are for forever (although, buying a house may not be an option any time soon).  But that’s yet another big decision.

all things new

Disclosure: Not all things are new.  Yet.

We, my fiance and I, decided to get a new dog.  A month before we move in together.  And he’s living with me and going to work with me.  His name is Spike, and he seems to be a chihuahua terrier mix.  He has a great personality.  My cats aren’t exactly happy, but I’m making it work.  [I did almost have a breakdown when I couldn’t get them to eat for nearly two days–I’d put their food on the table so the dog couldn’t get it, but they wouldn’t touch it.  So I have it in the bedroom, which is blocked off from the dog, and they started eating again.  I suspect they wanted their food on the floor, where it ‘belongs.’]

I’ll tell you this.  I maybe need to pay a bit more attention to my anxiety levels when I’m making big decisions, such as to get a new pet that I have to train on my own for a month.  Especially when it’s a month away from moving.

My packing for said move has more or less stalled, but I’m sure I’ll get back to it this week and weekend.  I mean, I don’t have much choice if I’m moving in a little more than three weeks, right?

Wedding planning is mostly on hold until after the move.  And I think we’ve finally decided to not worry about house hunting until at least after the wedding.  It’s just too much otherwise.

Deep breaths.

Big Updates

It seems that a lot has gone on in the past almost two months.

First off the bat, I got engaged!  We’re getting married in October, and things are already lining up well, so that is a relief!  We’re definitely planning a very low-key wedding, so that is helpful. But other than doing the planning we have to do right now, we’re putting it off, because…

We’re trying to buy a house.  The one big hitch (other than having not enough/barely enough money for the up-front costs) is that T still owns her house with her ex. ugh.  Her ex  finally did agree to buy her out, at less than half the equity, after futzing around for two months, but now her ex is going to require her to be out by the end of March.  We were hoping she could stay until at least April because we can’t get going on our house stuff until we have cash in hand from the house.  Of course the market is so expensive that it will still be quite hard to afford anything.  It’s incredibly frustrating.

The other option was to sell the house, but her ex refused to do that unless everyone was out of it, and since T actually lives there, plus has pets, that was unrealistic.  Plus we knew she would drag it out as long as possible, and we want to start our life without her.

I’m going to tell you, it’s a lot of big stuff all at the same time.  (T also started a new job this month.)  We have talked about just renting for a year, but we have four pets between the two of us, and we’d end up paying just as much as, if not more than, a mortgage.  We’re also worried we’ll get priced out of the market if we wait because we’re barely able to be in the market now, and prices will only continue to go up.  Renting isn’t completely off the table, though.  It’s just not our first hope.

I’m going to try to blog on a more regular basis.  I’ll try to give you updates on the house and the wedding.

Hope your Monday treats you well!

past due parental meet up post

I never did get around to telling you about how it went when T met the parents.  I mean, I think I mentioned it briefly…

The first meeting was at my niece’s birthday party in June, as planned.  It was pretty chill; the parents were friendly.  There was no weirdness or angst.  I did find out after that my mom was upset that she was the last to know (my siblings knew first), but I told her there were pics of us on facebook, so if she ever logged in…  Anyway.  It was weird to have her upset that I hadn’t told her.  Encouraging almost.

Since then, there have been many opportunities to interact.  We went to a little shopping nook with my parents and sister and had lunch.  We did a day trip for my birthday.  There was another niece’s birthday.  My parents moved last month, so we’ve helped a few (3 or 4) times with that.  We’ve been out for my sister’s birthday.  They’ve been so friendly and open.  I’m sure they’d still rather I was not gay, but I’m so pleased they are being nice.  Mom even gives T hugs.

Honestly, I could have never expected this.  Granted, the level of excitement my mom feels for my brother’s girlfriend definitely eclipses how she feels about my own; however, that is to be expected.  (Although, I would like to point out that my brother’s girlfriend has not helped with the move even once. I’ve got that beat.  But I think T and I both feel like we need to go above and beyond to win the parents over.  Plus, I owe it to my folks. They’ve helped me out so much over the years.)

It’s good.  It’s weird and unexpected, but it’s good.  Maybe in time, they will see it as a good thing, as well.

A general round-up of life

T and I went to the coast last weekend, and it was delightful.  We had such a good time.  The only conflict we had, if you could call it that, was my desire to get out of bed at the crack of dawn and begin foraging for food, whereas T would prefer to sleep in.  We mostly made it work, both of us slightly disappointed with the compromise, which is how I think it works?  ha  Apparently I can’t ditch her on our first getaway together.  Maybe on the next she’ll let me.

T finally told me she loved me, before our vacation. I was determined to make her say it first, and to that end, I was not helpful in giving her encouragement (haha).  I think the best part is that I knew she wanted to say it, then she chickened out, so I woke up to a text telling me she loved me, apologizing for saying it over text, and promising to say it properly when we were next together.  I didn’t mind–and now I have a funny story to tell.  But I was kind in return and told her I loved her, too, instead of making her wait until we were in person, like I sort of wanted to do (but decided would be too mean).

In other news: I found a doctor I like!  She was amazing!  I saw her last week for an annual physical, and when I brought up sex (lesbian sex, no less), she did not look awkward or get tongue tied (unlike every other stupid doctor).  She even asked if we used toys as if it were a normal thing to ask about (which it should be and which was appropriate in the context of our conversation–this was not a gawker type question).  I’m so glad.  I really felt comfortable with her and was finally able to ask about a few things I’d been concerned about.

I’ve also been on weight watchers for about five weeks now and am steadily losing weight.  I don’t have a ton to lose–I just want my clothes to fit loosely again.  I let myself gain about 30 pounds and my clothes were all fitting snugly, which is the worst.  So I’ve lost about 10 pounds so far, and we’ll see after another 10 how I feel.  I have no qualms about my body in particular, but I don’t want to have to purchase a new wardrobe.

And, perhaps antithetically to my weight loss goals, I made 4 mini cheesecakes (about 3-4″ diameter?) the last two days.  Three I made yesterday for mother’s day this weekend (going to the parents’ house with my siblings and nieces): they are vanilla with peanut butter swirl, chocolate with vanilla swirl, and chocolate with peanut butter swirl.  Then I made one more cheesecake tonight to share with T this weekend.  It is layered with apple pie filling (but the apples are diced).  I love baking.

I also finally purchased a few sets of mini baking pans (they are adorable). My mom bought me a Small Batch Baking cookbook awhile ago, but without mini pans (I had the spring forms already), I hadn’t really utilized it.  But now I can, which is great, because I do not need to make whole cakes or other desserts.  And it’s easier to have recipes cut down to size ahead of time.

Anyway, that’s about it.  I mean to blog more often than I do, but I always come up with good things to write when I can’t.  I’ll try to do better.

my girl

Things are still going well with T.  I don’t get to see her as much as I would like, but that is life, apparently.

I do have regular moments where it hits me, all of a sudden, that I have a girlfriend.  That I’m not technically single.  That I’m in a relationship with another person.  It’s weird.  Weird, but nice.

I also have the considerations that maybe I’d rather be single, that it’s so much easier to be alone.  These thoughts have absolutely nothing to do with T, they are just objective thoughts.  T is the reason I have not decided to follow through–so far, I prefer a relationship with her to not having one with her.

I’ve met some of her family.  That was pretty stressful, but I think it went well.  They seemed to like me.

And we may be going on a short vacation to Chicago next month–that’s where she grew up.  It’s also weird to think about going on vacation with someone.  I have a lot of anxiety about the idea, but I also think it will be a good thing, if it works out.  The anxiety is more related to the idea of taking a trip somewhere than the fact I’d be going with T.  I’m not used to taking trips.

Well, that’s about it for now.