Project Updates

Our application to become foster parents has been approved! To be honest, in the current state of things, it feels a little anti-climatic. We are supposed to start with respite care, then move to long term care, but with T’s medications and the current mandates, I don’t think we are able to do respite care. So… Not really sure what it will look like. We are supposed to find out more details this week from the Y for how on-boarding will look, etc.

This weekend, we also kicked ass on projects. If you recall, the back of our backyard used to be all blackberries. We cut those down last year, but the whole area was still full of sharp stems. So a couple weekends ago, we did a final raking. And then this weekend, we took T’s small rototiller and rototilled the whole area. Then, we finally pulled down the chicken wire fence we put up a year ago to protect Spike (our little dog) from getting hurt. We still need to get rid of some of the pile of sticks (our yard waste is full-full-full), and we need to go over it again with a bigger rototiller. My dad’s neighbor is going to let us borrow his at some point.

Plus, months ago, we had built a railing in the nook on the landing by the stairs to bring the house to code for fostering (and safety). This weekend, we finally stained it and finished it with polyurethane. Four coats of poly! But it looks amazing, and it is done.

When we moved in, we also removed the door from the doorway to the nook because we are not using that space as a bedroom, but living space. We wanted it to feel open. However, the cutouts in the frame for the hinges and latch were still there and ugly. I had the bright idea to fill them in with shims and paint stir sticks (cut to the correct length), which were the perfect thickness. So now they’re filled with wood, and the gaps are filled with latex putty. After we sand and paint, you will not be able to tell the frame was missing anything. You can barely tell now. (Although, that says more about the state of all our trim — another project for the future is to repaint all the trim.)

All that, plus our normal chores and cooking for the week. That’s the one thing COVID-19 is doing for us — giving us the time to finish up our projects.

Projects & DIY

Is the world still into DIYers? My wife DIY a lot of things. The main reason is that we have a budget and can’t always just pay someone to do something for us, or pay for a ‘real’ product. We’re also lucky that my dad is retired, lives close, and loves projects.

For example, we purchased a solid wood chest at a salvaged building materials shop and turned it into a cat litter box hider. We sanded it and cut a hole for the cats to go in, then painted the chest and redid the hinges. But when people see it, they have no idea it hides cat poop. Exactly the point. You can buy the same thing in press-board for at least twice what we paid to make it ourselves.

We built a wood railing in our ‘nook’ on the landing. Well, we purchased all the pieces and put it together (with my dad’s help). We did not shape and create the baluster or the newel posts or the top and bottom rails.

Recently, we took a wood stove out of the house. It was sitting in front of the fireplace on the hearth, taking room and looking ugly. (Besides, we can’t get earthquake insurance because our chimney/fireplace is real masonry, so we may as well use it!) The prior owner had painted the fireplace, but painted around the stove. So we’ve painted that to match. Now we’re waiting for a chimney cleaner/inspector before we do more.

At some point, we’re considering putting in a fence in the front yard. Just a short one. I want to put it in ourselves, rather than pay for someone. Just think of the savings! Honestly, I think the hardest part is digging the post holes and getting the posts in correctly. After that, the rest should be a breeze, right?

We’ve been in this house for almost a year – we purchased it last year in March. And it seems like it is a never ending stream of projects that need completing. But I guess that’s just what happens when you own a house. Or so I’m told.

Post move update

My cat is obsessed with my hair product. She has never been a groomer, but I started using Reuzel’s Extreme Hold Matte Pomade, and now she licks my hair whenever she gets the opportunity. I’m not going to lie: it’s gross. I’ll say this, though. I love that hair product! It actually makes my hair do what I want it to do. My only complaint would be that it’s a bit sticky after it dries, and I would rather it had no stickiness at all (after drying).

We did move in, successfully. T has done most of the unpacking while I do homework. I feel a little bad about it, but I don’t have a lot of options. I love our house, though. It’s cute and cozy and ours. The commute is too bad, but I had no commute before, so I suppose it’s back to real life. I hate losing that hour and a half I used to have every day. But I’m listening to audio books in the car on the drive, so at least it doesn’t feel like a long drive.

Maybe someday I’ll be interesting again. Until then, if you’re reading, thanks.

Sabbatical is over

I’m back! I wasn’t truly on sabbatical from my blog, but I recently realized it had been about six or seven months of radio silence. Since my absence, I got married (it was wonderful), started a certificate course at my local community college online (to get some actual accounting/bookkeeping credentials), and bought a house with my wife.

The house is what consumes us currently (well, that and I am taking three classes this quarter, so I’m busy with homework, as well). We closed a couple weeks ago, but thanks to flexibility with our current rental lease, we left ourselves a few weeks to get things done at the new place before we move in. We’ve been busy painting, insulating, and making minor repairs as we discover them. Really, my parents have been doing the bulk of the work, as T and I can only go up on weekends. (Thank god for retired, helpful parents!) My mom has been painting nearly every day, and my dad, with weekend help from my brother, insulated and sheetrocked the entire garage. The house is going to be great once we get there.

I’m excited to be a homeowner. I know it’s more work and more responsibility, but it means its ours. I really can’t wait to move in. Move date is set for April 13th. After that, things should calm down back to the new normal (for me) of still very busy instead of crazy-busy.

just wedding rambling

The wedding is coming up quickly — 9 days, if my math is correct.  And with it, work has been extra busy/frustrating.  I’m still dieting to try to lose just a few more pounds by the wedding to ensure my suit fits as well as it is able (a whole other story that I’m not going to delve in, but I have a draft post full of emotional vomit).  I did payroll this week for the first time by myself.  We’re under a couple injunctions from the state from an incident stemming from the nursing staff.  Still no personal days, despite our numbers being strong (they took away our 5 personal days this year, leaving us with only 4 holidays).

We’re mostly ready for the wedding.  We still need to sit down and figure out the music.  But all the other big stuff is done.  Our suits are done, we have our rings. We’ve hired bartenders and a photographer.  A work associate is catering, gratis.  We’ll pay for the actual food (at cost through my work).  We’ve wrapped gifts for the bridal parties.  We made the centerpieces.  Things are coming together.

T asked if I was excited, but honestly, I’m not. Not yet.  I rarely get excited before something actually occurs — I’m too busy with the to-do list that invariably precedes any such event that may provoke excitement.  I told her I would get excited once we had checked off all the remaining items.

Until then… I guess I have work to do.

all things new

Disclosure: Not all things are new.  Yet.

We, my fiance and I, decided to get a new dog.  A month before we move in together.  And he’s living with me and going to work with me.  His name is Spike, and he seems to be a chihuahua terrier mix.  He has a great personality.  My cats aren’t exactly happy, but I’m making it work.  [I did almost have a breakdown when I couldn’t get them to eat for nearly two days–I’d put their food on the table so the dog couldn’t get it, but they wouldn’t touch it.  So I have it in the bedroom, which is blocked off from the dog, and they started eating again.  I suspect they wanted their food on the floor, where it ‘belongs.’]

I’ll tell you this.  I maybe need to pay a bit more attention to my anxiety levels when I’m making big decisions, such as to get a new pet that I have to train on my own for a month.  Especially when it’s a month away from moving.

My packing for said move has more or less stalled, but I’m sure I’ll get back to it this week and weekend.  I mean, I don’t have much choice if I’m moving in a little more than three weeks, right?

Wedding planning is mostly on hold until after the move.  And I think we’ve finally decided to not worry about house hunting until at least after the wedding.  It’s just too much otherwise.

Deep breaths.

hit the brakes

ugh.

It looks like things with the house are not going to go as hoped.  Apparently, T’s ex’s lender somehow (despite T not being on the application) didn’t realize that T was not going to stay on the loan (wtf), so it has to go into underwriting again.  This is after two months.  It looks like they will simply sell instead.

Which is all fine and good, especially because it is almost for certain that T will get more money from selling.  Except that the house won’t be listed until April at the earliest (if her ex doesn’t drag her feet).  That means it likely won’t be sold/settled until end of May.  That means we can’t get started on any house hunting until around May, which is when the housing market really starts getting competitive.  We can’t afford to be competitive.  We can’t offer more than asking.  We can barely afford asking.  Not just that, but we’d likely not be in a house until July or August at the earliest.  That’s months from now to continue living so far apart.

So I told T that I think we should just try to rent.  She doesn’t want to rent long term, but I’m trying to get her to understand that we’ll likely be priced out of the market by next year.  We’re almost priced out as it is, and the  market is only predicted to continue going up.  Our salaries are not going to pick up comparably.  She doesn’t like this, neither do I, but I can’t see anyway around it, other than intending to be long-term renters, or to move to a cheaper area.

This whole situation has already caused too many fights, and I can see why someone wouldn’t want to get involved with a person who still owned property with an ex.  I’m not saying I’m not still glad I’m with T, but it’s so incredibly frustrating to have our future depend on her ex.  I’m supposed to simply put my life on hold because of her stupid, fucking ex.

I just want to move forward.

Big Updates

It seems that a lot has gone on in the past almost two months.

First off the bat, I got engaged!  We’re getting married in October, and things are already lining up well, so that is a relief!  We’re definitely planning a very low-key wedding, so that is helpful. But other than doing the planning we have to do right now, we’re putting it off, because…

We’re trying to buy a house.  The one big hitch (other than having not enough/barely enough money for the up-front costs) is that T still owns her house with her ex. ugh.  Her ex  finally did agree to buy her out, at less than half the equity, after futzing around for two months, but now her ex is going to require her to be out by the end of March.  We were hoping she could stay until at least April because we can’t get going on our house stuff until we have cash in hand from the house.  Of course the market is so expensive that it will still be quite hard to afford anything.  It’s incredibly frustrating.

The other option was to sell the house, but her ex refused to do that unless everyone was out of it, and since T actually lives there, plus has pets, that was unrealistic.  Plus we knew she would drag it out as long as possible, and we want to start our life without her.

I’m going to tell you, it’s a lot of big stuff all at the same time.  (T also started a new job this month.)  We have talked about just renting for a year, but we have four pets between the two of us, and we’d end up paying just as much as, if not more than, a mortgage.  We’re also worried we’ll get priced out of the market if we wait because we’re barely able to be in the market now, and prices will only continue to go up.  Renting isn’t completely off the table, though.  It’s just not our first hope.

I’m going to try to blog on a more regular basis.  I’ll try to give you updates on the house and the wedding.

Hope your Monday treats you well!

ups and downs

My apartment manager is a complete fuck-tard.  My administrator at work has it in for me.  My girlfriend’s mom does not like me.

These things are giving me a shit-ton of anxiety in combination.  I would say that it might be me, but the apartment manager clearly has “small man” issues and needs to engage in constant power plays, my administrator doesn’t like my boss (and so by extension tries to take it out on me), and my girlfriend’s mom is, sadly, a miserable person.

Here are the good sides of each of those.  I am planning on moving out at the end of my lease this March or April.  My boss is a great protector for me and will go to bat for me against the administrator.  My girlfriend has already and will continue to talk to her mom about acceptable ways of treating me.

But now I am going to eat dinner and binge on Gilmore Girls.

 

Happy Thanksgiving?

I know it’s been forever since I blogged.  Not for lack of intention, but somehow I just haven’t made the time.  I think a lot of it is that I spend all day on my computer at work, so when I get home, I don’t want to spend more time on it…

Overall, things have been great.  There are a few hiccups at work, but nothing big or worth mentioning at this point.  So I’ll get to the point of today and leave the last few months in the past.

Today I had Thanksgiving with my girlfriend’s family.  Tomorrow we will do the same with my family.

But today left me feeling horrible.  Growing up, my family had a bad relationship with my dad’s family, in particular his mom, but also his sisters tended to follow suit.  They did not like my mom (and so by extension us kids), and it wasn’t a secret.  I grew to hate holidays, and when we were finally uninvited from family events, I was relieved.  I’ve always sworn I would never be with someone if we can’t get along with each other’s families.

So, my girlfriend’s mom is a mean bitch.  The problem is that she is a mean bitch to everyone who is not her family.  But my fucking god, it reminded me of everything I felt growing up at family holidays.  And now I have to figure out a way to talk to my girlfriend about it.  Somehow I have to be able to talk about it objectively, even though nothing I feel about it is objective at all.

At least tomorrow should be good.  My immediate family has a pretty good time together over all.  My brother will be there with the kids, as well.

Big sighs and deep breaths.