lots going on lately

I’ve successfully accomplished two weeks of work at my new job.  So far, so good.  I’m enjoying what I’m learning and the tasks.  It does bring to mind the question of if I should start the python course in January.  I have until December to decide.  Here are my quick thoughts about it: I have found myself on a career path for finance, and the jobs I’ve had so far are preparing me for a good job someday in a non-profit context (which is what I want). However, will finance be interesting long term?  If I take the python course, I will want to use it–it’s $1000/quarter and three quarters long.  I’m not so flush that I want to spend $3000 on something I’m not certain I will use.  That’s a lot of money.  It could go to my student loan.  But what if I take it and don’t use it or can’t get a job–it is a very competitive field, after all.  Ugh.

The last date I mentioned — the thai dinner person — we never ended up going bouldering. But she was recently separated from a long term relationship, so she wasn’t exactly ready for a relationship anyway.  Or anything, in my opinion.

Since then, I’ve gone on a couple dates with another person. She thinks vulnerability is a good thing.  At the end of our second date, she laid all her cards on the table. I was in shock, to be honest. Not at what she said–nothing shocking about that–but that she was willing to be so open. It has been my experience that I’ve had to put my cards on the table first, with generally a lack of cards in return. (That has not always been the case, of course.)

She’s femme, but not like super femme or anything.  Just… femme-ish.  I have all sorts of fears about dating a femme presenting woman, so I’m going to have to work through those myself.  My big fear is them wanting me to be part of a fake heteronormative relationship because I present butch.  But that is an unfair fear, I think.  She has given me no indication that she is looking for that, and while it is something I should bring up eventually for my own piece of mind if we keep going on dates, I can just continue forward and see how things go…  Right?

Today starts the first of three evenings out in a row.  Tonight I am seeing a movie at a queer film festival with a friend. Tomorrow I am going to dinner and a concert with a friend of a friend who recently moved to the area.  The next night I am getting my tattoo finished.  Phew.

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